I must say Boston; I do not have the answer to your question. As long as this post has been running I would say that none thus far have the answer either. I see here that a lot of good God fearing folks have devoted their best effort at trying to give you hope, and have shared their heartfelt beliefs to empower you to continue the good fight. Most of all I have seen how they have accepted you with open arms of love and compassion. I am caused to question why you have not found the same acceptance in the world outside of this forum. As for I, I will not let you go. You are there on my prayer list and there you shall remain until you find your peace with God. I know the Holy Spirit is dealing with you, as this is part of the turbulence within your spirit right now. It is not our love towards Him that gives us value but His love towards us. Because of this, I cannot walk away from you in this time of your troubles. God has not and neither shall I.
You are looking for God to send down a divine healing on your life. To instantly change your orientation so that you can live what you dream to be a normal life. Do you know how many people in this world are praying for that very same thing? I don’t but I am sure the number is near everyone. It would be my prayer too, Boston, for God to do that for you, it would be my prayer for God to answer everyone’s prayer that way. You know He will when we all get to Heaven but for now, it just doesn’t happen that way now does it? So for us, it becomes a matter of trust, obedience and the measure of our faith. You know the promises, as I said I am not going to quote a lot of scripture to you. It is obvious you have been true to stay in His Word.
I am going to relate to you through a familiar story from the Bible. It is a story that shows us that even when we are in God’s Plan or Will, we still have storms in our life. It was a time not long after the death of John the Baptist that Jesus, as he so often did, needed to spend quality time with His Father. Jesus sent His disciples ahead in a boat to crossover. As the disciples were crossing over there came a great storm and they became afraid for their lives. Then walking across the water came Jesus to meet them. Peter called out saying, Lord, if it is you bid me to come. Jesus answered come and Peter walked upon the water. But Peter began to notice the storm raging around him and began to sink. Peter called out Lord save me and Jesus reached down and pulled him up from the water. (Mat 14)
There they were the disciples of Jesus in the middle of a storm as a result of doing what Jesus had told them to do. Why would Jesus do that? He knew there would be a storm yet he sent his closest friends into the storm. You know a lot of those guys were fishers and I am willing to bet they knew a storm was coming also. Yet they did as Jesus told them to do. There are going to be storms in our life and it has been my experience that we are either in a storm, coming out of a storm or getting into one.
You know when Peter got out of that boat it was right in the middle of that storm. The water was twisting, swelling and full of violent motion. Yet Peter walked right on top of it. He is the only human that ever has walked on the water. When he began to turn his attention from Jesus and worry more about the storm he was in, that is when he began to sink.
I don’t need to explain the point; you are probably smarter than I am. All I can say to you my brother in Jesus is keep your eyes on Jesus. Place your trust in Him, not the reasoning of man or yourself but of the one who knows you better than even you do. You know the truth that good will comes to those who love Him.
I pray that you soon find peace Boston, till then hold fast to your courage and muster the faith one-day at a time.
Thomas N Kirkpatrick
Thursday, August 22, 2002