MARITAL COUNSEL meaning?
by Daniel Sagar
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Sometimes God calls some people single for his service. This is great only if you use that time in God. If you marry in haste you have to repent in leisure. Consider character means humility, right priorities and beliefs, honesty and commitment to church. Only believer is not enough grace must be evident. Proverbs 19:14 - House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 - Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
In bema judgement which is only for believers husband will be asked for wife's blemishes. Ephesians 5:26, 27. They have Christ and Church relationship. Christ submits Church, holy and blameless to God. Husband submits wife, holy and blameless to Christ. Man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. Genesis 2:24. This means the couple should have different budget. Leave all the bags of past. Instead of remaining under the protective custody of parents, leaves them and husband and wife establish a new family unit. Hydrogen and oxygen are gases, but they fuse into physical water. They have parent and child relationship. Cut the umbilical cord of emotional dependence on parents.
Suitable helper in Genesis 2:18 actually in original language Hebrew means surrounder and this means wife should surround the husband wherever he goes. The role of woman in marital life is greater than role of man. Husband and wife both are equal because both are created in the image of God. Genesis 1:26, 27. But only roles are different husband has headship and wife has submission. Is husband higher or wife higher? Answer is John 10:30. I and Father are one. Who is higher? One thing not person. Neuter gender in Greek. Essence, nature, will and purpose are united not identical person.
Husband is head not a master whereas wife should submit in everything but not a servant. Humility or the will of God is not humiliation. For instance God told prophet Hosea marry prostitute Gomer. This was Godâ€™s will. God tells one by one and we need to obey whether it makes sense to us or not. Partnership is trustworthy, genuine and authentic. Purpose of marriage is Genesis 12:3 that through our family all the families of this generation will be blessed and Matthew 22:37 that through our family God may be honoured. In marital posture first is God, next is wife and husband and anyone third is considered Satan. If husband and wife both come to God the distance between God and them decreases and distance between themselves also decreases. Reluctance makes the distances more odd or bizarre.
Spouse should have spiritual gifts and that is recommended. But if spouse has spiritual fruit grace it is double recommended. Silence and anger destroys the family union. Resistance to demon James 4:7 and reception of God 2 Corinthians 3:18 both intended. We have best companionship partner in marriage. Remember the benchmark and focal point that marriage particularly is not choosing of best spouse but able to live happily with the spouse God has given. Intended to have spiritual, emotional and physical pleasure in marriage and it is binding factor for companionship and pro-creation. Pro-creation means having children born in this generation and also bringing them up in godly way.
Commitment of marriage is vital then communication. Separate by mutual consent for a time to fast and pray but come together to resist Satan. - 1 Corinthians 7:5. Satan uses the occasions of pain and pleasure in the times of bitterness, criticism and oppression. We are married to Christ. - Romans 7:4.
Children are the heritage of the Lord. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Paul in prisonal epistles twice regarding familial responsibilities told do not embitter or arouse bitter feelings in your children and also do not exasperate or irritate intensely your children. Otherwise they may be discouraged. Instead bring them in the teaching and training of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21. Disobedience is bound in the heart of the child a rod of discipline chases it away. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is grown he will not turn away from it. Jesus actually told four qualities of children trust, unpretentious, openness and receptivity. Children obey your parents in everything this is right and pleases the Lord. Honour your mother and father and you will live long in the land Lord has given you. This is the first commandment with immediate promise. Ephesians 6:1-3. If anybody attacks his father or mother he shall be surely put to death. Exodus 21:15. If a man curses his father and mother his light will be snuffed out in pitch darkness. Proverbs 20:20.
If anybody does not provide for his relatives, especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever or infidel. 1 Timothy 5:8. Therefore as we have opportunity let us do good to all the people especially for the family of believers. Galatians 6:10. Before others come brothers come and sisters come. Go to Jesus and his unlimited Holy Spirit because they do intercede. Romans 8:27, 34. Husband is wifeâ€™s father and her son and wife is husbandâ€™s mother and his daughter.
Family came from the word famulous which means servant. Jesus told greatest among you must be servant and slave of all. And told greatest must be like the youngest and one who rules like one who serves. Luke 22:26. Jesus came not to be served or ministered unto but to serve and minister and to give his life as ransom for many. Mark 10:45. Jesus predicted his death three times and all three times he concluded with intended servanthood attitude teaching when disciples persisted unbelief. When we marry we get second set of parents and siblings.
God instituted marriage for life time. For marriage court of heaven and of our generation are witnesses. Grief brings us to God. Grief is intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved spouse especially by death. If spouse dies, you can marry again. Romans 7:2-3. Divorce is very tensionable that men and women give divorce only for snoring but Jesus told for fornication, marital unfaithfulness or sexual immorality. Matthew 5:32. Divorce should not be even spiritual, emotional or physical. If unbelieving spouse deserts, divorce and marry believing spouse and this is biblical or Christian ethics. 1 Corinthians 7:15. Unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing spouse and then the children are holy or clean. Bible forbids to marry an unbeliever. Believing spouse and his unbelieving spouse have nothing in common. They go in different directions. Marriage is honourable above all and marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral. - Hebrews. What God has joined together but not anyone asunder. Generally marriage opens some life situations and closes some life situations.
Marriage Pair Partnership Guidelines. Spouse intended fruitfulness.
1. Image of God and human. - Genesis 1:27.
2. Spouse and his surrounder. - Genesis 2:18.
3. Bone of bones and flesh of flesh. Parent and child. Flesh and blood. Fuse into one body. - Genesis 2:23, 24.
4. Lord and your desires. - Psalm 37:4.
5. Goodness and favour. - Proverbs 18:22.
6. Repentance and salvation. When Jonah went Nineveh repented and saved. But Nahum went Nineveh did not repent and were destroyed. Peter repentance was complete whereas Judas Iscariot repentance was not complete. 72 times came in Ezekiel whether it is judgement or salvation I am the LORD who do it. And 10 times more I am the LORD. 82 times LORD is in capitals. LORD meant depend on me. Disobedience and Judgement.
7. Physical and spiritual. - Matthew 4:4.
8. Teaching and testing. Method of Jesus to his disciples. Calming the storm is teaching and feeding the crowd is testing. Warning and punishment.
9. Authority and submission. Helping and being helped. - Matthew 28:18-20.
10. Owner and his property. - John 8:47.
11. Jesus and Father. - John 10:30.
12. Anointing and forgiveness. - John 20:22-23.
13. Holy Spirit and witnessing. - Acts 1:8.
14. God and Israel. - Acts 2:36.
15. Spouse and his calling. - Acts 20:24.
16. Spouse and his living life partner. - Romans 7:2, 3.
17. Christ and his fruit. - Romans 7:4.
18. Character and gifting. - Romans 12:1-8.
19. Prayer and fasting. - 1 Corinthians 7:5.
20. Grace and holiness. - 2 Corinthians 7:1.
21. Wisdom and revelation. - Ephesians 1:17.
22. Love and power. - Ephesians 3:17-19.
23. Christ and church. Message and mission. Bridegroom and bride. Husband and wife. Lover and beloved. Headship and submission. - Ephesians 5:23-33. Revelation 19:7.
24. Sanctification and honour. - 1 Thessalonians 4:4.
25. Faith and works. - James 2:22.
26. Strong and weak. - 1 Peter 3:7.
We have to be so clever or shrewd and when Jesus comes have to be ready to go with him. We have to be alert and self-controlled because the devil is roaming like a roaring lion whom he may devour. Zechariah 12:10 says we will look on the one we pierced like one grieves for his only son or firstborn.
Intended to keep sanctification and honour through valid marriage. Bible demands in 1 Thessalonians 4:4. Spouse should not see illegal. Marry spouse with same gifts and calling for benefited ministry. Acts 20:24.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4 is the central verse for the marriage counselling. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table provided you fear God. Psalm 128:3. Then gaze upon the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your lives. Jerusalem resembles heaven city house church believer.
Unbiblical asceticism says do not marry because matter is evil but God ordained. Psychiatrists say at least one year after marriage good to forbid child. Then also space between children advised. Be fruitful and multiply sometimes not for this generation in multiple children. Miscarriage and contraception are not abortions. Foetus has life is biblical stand not medical stand. God instituted marriage between one man and one woman.
God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in him especially in suffering. Amen.
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