TITLE: Faith on The Choping Block May 12, 2015
By Yolanda Payne
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A positive mammogram in 1990 turned my world upside down and forced me to reexamine my faith. My faith was placed on a chopping block and found lacking.
After reviewing the results of a mammogram, my doctor informed me that a lump in my left breast had been revealed. He recommended a surgeon. I took the mammogram results to the surgeon.
The one thing every woman dreads had happened to me. A lump was found in my left breast. Alarm bells rang in my head with the message, “you are going to die”. Although I knew that a lump did not necessarily mean it was cancerous I continued to be afraid. I asked my mother to go with me and she readily agreed. When the scheduled day for my appointment my mother informed me she was unable to go with me and I went alone.
The surgeon was very pleasant. He indicated he wanted me to have a Magnetic Resonance Imaging Scan (MRI) performed because the lump was very small, and he was unable to make a decision. After studying the results of my mammogram and MRI, the surgeon explained that because lump was very, very small, he did not want to make a diagnosis based upon a mammogram and MRI. He wanted to wait and examine me again in six months. I was relieved because I did not want a biopsy because of my fear of what a biopsy would reveal. When I was a girl in rural Louisiana, women often went in to have biopsies and left with at least one less breast.
I shared the surgeon’s opinion with the women on my job. They were surprised that the surgeon wanted to wait six months before considering a biopsy. They believed his behavior was unusual, but I was happy.
Each night I prayed to God and asked Him to remove the lump. On the day of my appointment to see the surgeon I decided that if a biopsy was necessary I would accept it and allow it to be performed. The surgeon told me the lump was disappearing. He advised me to come back in six months and if the lump was gone he would release me. I was overjoyed and felt a sense of relief.
During the drive home I repeatedly thanked God for removing the lump. The Holy Spirit began to speak to me. He reminded me of my reaction to the surgeon’s diagnosis. He also reminded me of my prayer request to God. Although I prayed and asked God to remove the lump. I did not experience a sense of release at the end of my prayer. I only received a sense of relief after the surgeon told me the lump had disappeared.
Was my faith in God’s promise or rather the doctor’s pronouncement. Was there no joy and relief after submitting my prayer request to God. I must admit my faith was somewhat lacking because I needed conformation because I could accept the healing provided by God.
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