The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
very nice article. Could use a few quotation marks here and there. I liked the descriptions, and suspense. God bless ya, littlelight
Very good! Her Advocate stepped in to help her. There is no other way!
I love this entry. It's well written and flows with the reader. I would have liked to have seen a stronger connection between the passport and the Stranger in the shadows. I have an idea if your interested! Very good job!
Nice drama and tension for the story, but in relaity for someone who knows they are saved, they wouldn't be nervous. But, it worked for the story very nicely!
You really captured the nervous anticipation of waiting...and waiting. I enjoyed reading this story!
Great job creating suspense and a feeling of tension. I particularly liked the use of modern airport/customs lines experiences to compare to the experience of entering "the pearly gates." The ending would probably be unexpected when reading this story in a non-Christian context, but it was still satisfying when read in a Christian context. I was left feeling, though, that I hoped my own homecoming would be more joyous and less tension-filled.
Hi Julianne, this is a work of fiction, designed to make the reader think, and as such it works well. I particularly enjoyed when you started to describe her feelings.(shifting weight from one foot to the other) You were 'showing' how she felt by her actions rather than the later exterior narration or 'telling' which is not as compelling. Good one. Yeggy.
Very, very good Jules. You are definitely on the right track with the Challenge and your entries are actually rating very well with the judges every week. Be encouraged! Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)