The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/27/09
This is a really nice idea and poem. The only problem is that it has few typos and not a very good structure. If you had brought a sentence down, you know, like a normal poem, it would have looked a lot more aethestic.
Like
Looking at the blue skies,
I see it wonder by
Could i be so blind
To consider the beauty that lies behind...

Making them looking structure would give a lot of beef to your poem.

But that was very creative...and some phrases- powerful...

So keep writing, but keep in mind, appearance is important, and very powerful.

Good luck.
08/27/09
I agree with Faithful Okoye. Some great thoughts, a good theme, but needs a little cleaning up. Why don't you work on it and put it on critique circle? You could get more help on there!