The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/24/09
I love this story! It is so redolent of the innocence of youth.I'm sure the format was a glitch in the process, though I believe the voice of the child will make readers forget as they are transported into the moment.It did for me. This is good writing.
10/26/09
This story is very entertaining and seems like it could be part of a larger one. I was hearing the little gir's accent in my head even though I wasn't sure she should have a very thick one or not. Super job.
10/27/09
Well done--the voice was spot on.

As far as the formatting--did you type directly into the submission box? That might account for it. I recommend that you type your entry in your word processing application, and don't hit "enter" until you reach the end of a paragraph (not at the end of each line). Then make sure you hit "enter" to create white space between paragraphs (like this comment).

Also, there's a little button that says "preview" that you can hit before you hit the "submit" button. You can see what your entry will look like, and fix anything before you submit.

Hope this was helpful! You're a good writer...keep it up!
10/27/09
good voice. well told story from the first person. looking forward to more of your work!
Cute story! lol, I can imagine that teacher's face as the little girl rattled on and on...but to a very satisfactory conclusion! :-)
so enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the entry.