The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/21/09
Sounds like a beautiful retreat for body,soul and spirit. You used the word yelow sparingly but it glowed all the way through. That is not always easy to do. I like it when the reader is allowed to interpret the picture using the words given. Though I was relieved to find that my first impression of the woman waking was wrong -you kept us in suspense for awhile- the fact that you were on retreat. I thought at the start you had woken with a global amnesia. It is a heart warming yellow story.I feel drawn to Jane.
11/21/09
Having been on several retreats, they are always a way to get restored.

Thought you made it feel very special, and makes me want to be up at first light to see what God has for me at the break of dawn.

Interesting story for the color.
You caught the sunrise so beautifully! It has been years since I have been on a church retreat, but I remember how special it can be.

At first read,I was a bit confused over the dialogue, then realized it was from the retreat speaker. Perhaps you could have first introduced her before telling her story.

Keep up the great work!
God is indeed faithful to them the seek Him with a whole heart.

Thank you for sharing your Christian retreat experience. Worth remembering, isn't it?

Keep up with the good work for the glory of God!
God bless.