The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 736 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/29/10
Wow! Masterful story-telling! It flows so smoothly and beautifully. I got a little confused at the angel part, but other than that it's amazing. I love the way he helps her understand about heaven - we just know, 'cause it's faith and it's a fact. Great job!
Well-written piece. Thank you.
01/29/10
A real neat story! And, you workede the "huh?' in there beautifully!
Well done. I agree the story was well told. I too was a little confused when you mentioned being in heaven 900 + years. Not sure what that was, but I enjoyed the lesson.
02/01/10
Sweet writing.

I wish you'd made your narrator's identitiy more apparent earlier, and the several references to the girl's swirling hair got a bit distracting.

The lesson was full of comfort and security--well done!
02/01/10
You did a great job of capturing the girl's sadness, it was very descriptive. Not only could I feel her sadness, I could see on her as well.
It was a nice story. I wasn't sure if the angel was a previous human or if it had been 900 years since he'd been on earth. It was great that God sent someone when the girl needed someone most.