The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 735 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/25/10
Love the altered lullaby! I'll have to remember that one for my grandbaby.

I'd have liked a few more uses of Miss Pearl's name--in a few of the middle paragraphs, there were quite a few "she"s and "her"s and I lost track of when you were refering to Miss Pearl and when you meant her mother.

Be careful of using "they're" for "their".

This was precious and peaceful.
02/28/10
I especially liked these lines:
I am frail and old now and my body is cumbersome. I can no longer witness to others as my speech is now slurred.

My father is in his seventies and it made me think of how I imagine he feels often now. It makes me sad sometimes.

What a beautiful rendition of the song. I did notice you used they're when I think you meant their. Those can be tricky sometimes, I also noticed a missing quotation mark, but that is stuff that can be easily fixed and doesn't distract from the tribute to a wonderful mother.
03/02/10
What a loving tribute to your mother. Very nicely done. You won't be a beginner for long.
Your piece is carefully, wonderfully, fearfully written with a message pointing to our Master, Almighty Father, and King. Our God keeps (us) in "perfect peace whose mind is stayed" on Him. (Isaiah 26:3) God bless you for your love and reverence to God in all your writing. The Holy Spirit is our Guide and Wisdom in how He wants to use His cleansed vessels in Christ Jesus--with His gift of words, so precious, for His honour in our writing. I pray that when we move up to higher rungs of "success" in our writing, may we not lose track, but stayed on Him in Truth. Enjoy the pleasure of writing God has given you! Psalm 2:11. Maryknoll
03/05/10
I loved this entry! A Writer that can touch the heart of a reader with emotion of either tears or laughter (In my opinion) is a writer definitely on her way UP, Up, Up. This story struck home with me, as I am wrinkled and gray and yet I still miss my mother and have some of the same thoughts and questions you have, "Where are you, Lord?" Great job and written well...with just a few little errors that editing could help. Kudos!!!
04/29/10
Good! And right on the topic. How many times have we wondered, "Where are you, Lord"?...I agree with those who commented that "you won't be a BEGINNER long."...Keep writing. Keep a goal before your mental eyes. I know you will. I read your profile...Helen