The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very sweet, very nice, very moving.
This is beautifully written but oh very sad. The red ink I would offer is Mommies should be Mommy's (if there is one or Mommies' if you're referring to several.) This really tugged at my heart because I know as I read this a similar scene has played out in real life. I hope your message gives even one abused woman the strength to get help. You write as if you've experienced this yourself, if so know I just prayed for all of the abused Mommies.
the contrast between the sleepng children and the second part of the poem is striking. You capture it so well.
Congratulations for ranking 9th in level one!