The Official Writing Challenge
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11/01/05
You have a delightful way of expressing the little girl's thoughts in response to her father's. I could see this as a longer story as I wondered more what their life was about.
11/01/05
Good start to something bigger. You have a nice knack to relating thoughts. Keep writing.
11/02/05
I agree this story ended too soon. Papa's dialogue needs a voice, if he is English, let his voice show us where he is from, but that is for the larger story that I hope you write.
The little girl shows spirit and you have a wonderful time period to draw up conflicts and adventures for such a one as this. This was wonderful and being a dad's girl myself I especially liked the ending.
God Bless and keep writing!
11/02/05
Very nice work, good descriptions. Enjoyable reading. God bless ya, littlelight
11/03/05
This was something I'd never heard of before--thank you for bringing me into this world!
11/03/05
You had a good mix of description and dialogue, a beginning and an end and a nice style. Because this story is from Lelah's point of view, I think it would help to write as if she is describing it, rather than bring in a third person. PM me if I'm not making sense.
This was interesting and enjoyable to read. I liked the little girl and how you tied in the fragrances to her feelings about her dad. I also thought it was cute that he tends to people's spiritual souls along with the souls of their feet. :)
11/03/05
This is such an endearing story. You also weaved in a lesson about something foreign to me. Very good descriptive writing; I felt like I was there. Absolutely keep writing - Great job!
11/03/05
Great story! I felt like I was in the shop with them, looking over all the different typed of leather. You really drew me in. Thanks for a wonderful article:)
11/04/05
Very realistic, the way Lelah's attention drifted and her thoughts kept breaking into Papa's story. Great writing, well done. :) Karen
Very well researched I'm guessing, you have combined the facts with believable characters too.
I agree with those who've mentioned how well you've captured a father's love, fragrance and the stitching of souls and soles is well done.
11/05/05
I really enjoyed this -and could smell the leather (as we've done some leather/suede work around here :)
I really liked this too! And if I had any sense of smell, I'd probably smell the leather too! I really enjoyed this!
This was really good, but I agree that it's a good start for something bigger. Good job!
This was really good, but I agree that it's a good start for something bigger. Good job!