The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/09/14
Cute story with an all too important message! Sage advice from the dad!

God bless~
I enjoyed your real life story.

God wants each person to learn and grow so our life shows the light of Christ through our life.

Good article on the theme. Nicely written.
08/11/14
Cute story and with a point. Well done.

I would have stopped after "took me way too long" in the first paragraph. I think this would have created your "Hook"

The storyline was pretty predictable, but a fun read.

Keep writing, you have talent.

God bless.
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