The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/17/15
Beautiful and pentrating! This sounded authentic and if so, you were blessed to have her as your mother. Mom's are pretty special people. I just lose mine this past May...and she was pretty special herself.

Great job with this. On topic in a profound way.

God bless~
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. It was a moving testament of her faithfulness and beautiful spirit. Jesus understood your mom's scars. When Jesus suffered on the cross, he had holes in His hands where the nails had been. Thank you for sharing your story.
07/18/15
Thank you for this. It was moving, touching, and uplifting.
This is a lovely testament to your mother and a story your family will treasure for generations.

I see where you tried to fit the topic in, but I think you fell short as the judges were really looking for tourists who were ugly because of their manners. You have a wonderful sense of words so I'd urge you to stay away from clichés like we are just tourists passing through or turn the air blew. Instead, put it in your words to paint a picture. For example, Mother befriended a lady who allowed inappropriate words slip out far too often. Other people would cringe or turn away from her, but not Mom. She embraced her and guided the conversation into a more acceptable direction.

That's just an example to show you what I mean. It's not perfect, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. By doing little things like that, it'll help move the story along, but also the reader will truly get your Mom's gentle nature. What a wonderful role model for you and your family. After reading this, I did feel a connection with her, almost like I've met her before because you did a fine job of developing your beautiful character. I think your opening paragraph drew me into the 1930s. (No apostrophe needed unless you do it like this: '30s, just add the s to make it plural.) You held my attention from the first paragraph to the last. Your love for your mother really shines through and left a small lump in my throat.