The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 410 times
Member Comments
This is an interesting piece. I really enjoyed the beginning. You brought the lobby and the characters to life for me. I did think it a bit strange that the manager would ask the clerk for advice, but when dealing with a rowdy drunk... :) I like the points you made at the end, but it felt slightly disjointed from the story, almost if you were telling two tales in one. I do think you did a great job using dialog to move the story forward. I think it sounded realistic, although most people speak in contractions. I think your advice will not only help the reader become a nicer tourist but a better person overall. We all need to step back and examine our hearts from time to time and you did a nice job of reminding me that.
The opening drew me in to the story. This was a routy customer who needed to be stopped. I thought the points at the end were helpful but not needed since the story weaved of portraying bad behavior. Great job overall
Well done!

God bless~
The scene in the hotel lobby was well portrayed. I found myself thinking, what would I have done with that ugly creature. Well done.
Congratulations! Happy Dance!