The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/15/15
I like how you compared life to a roller coaster. It really is filled with ups and downs.
08/16/15
You made my stomach lurch just reading this! Great job on the analogy.
Keep Writing!
08/19/15
This is very fine writing--the sort of writing that I'd expect to see in level 3 or 4. I suspect that you'll move quickly upward through the ranks.

Just a few minor suggestions: many who write inspirational or devotional writings have learned not to begin with their scripture, as many people skip right over the scripture to get to the story. If you want to be sure that your scripture is read, then incorporate it into the body of your devotional.

Second, the analogy of "life is a roller coaster" has been done many, many times. In order to make your analogy stand out, you'd need to bring something new or unexpected to it. It's sort of an irresistible analogy, given the prompt for this week, but you're definitely a good enough writer to go one step beyond the obvious. Think of an unexpected way that the analogy could be used: maybe the "lows" are good times (times of peace?) and the "highs" are bad (times of too much frantic activity), or maybe you can think of some other way to bring freshness and originality to the extended metaphor.

I love your use of the present tense, bringing the reader straight into the experience. Very well done.
08/19/15
The description of the ride was good enough to make me feel like hurling.
Congratulations on your first place win in the beginning category. I liked your analogies of life compared to a roller coaster ride. It brought back great childhood memories of life when I was more adventurous.