The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I really enjoyed this article. I loved the repetition of the theme of contrasts and it certainly conveyed your message very clearly.
Very creative story. Job well done. I like your reference to GMO foods and a massacered gut. So true.

Comma errors plague many writers and I noticed them in your entry.

For example:
always always always!

should read:
always, always, always!

I encourage you to check out Jan's writing basics on the Forum. She has lessons on comma usage. Quite enlightening.

Job well done.
You have shared many contrasting situations in poetic form. I would like to see it more organized.

Between ever two or three lines that are a unit, place this line: "The great unclarified expanding gap:" This should make it more organized, structured and easier to follow.

We must not live in the gray gap as that is the same as living in the dark.

Good thoughts.
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