The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/13/15
An interesting read.

I noticed some "salsa" verbs! - infect, (cruelly) yanked, reverbrated. Good for you.

One red ink - put "I use to do that. I was a firsherman.... in quotes for his thoughts.

God bless as you keep writing.
11/13/15
Hi again - I meant to say his thoughts - I use to do that. I use to be a fisherman - should be in italic, not quotes.

It's early in the morning!
11/13/15
This is an interesting retelling of a familiar story. I enjoyed your take on the topic
11/13/15
I really like this first person account of John on Patmos! I never thought what it was like for him to see his best friend as GOD. A formatting suggestion - make some sort of break between John's story and your ending commentary - and extra line space will do, or you could use *** or ~~~ if you want to get fancy. But your writing is very smooth and and the story flows well. I could "see" through John's eyes. Nice job!
This is a great retelling of what happened to John. I found it interesting and easy to read and understand. I struggled with seeing the topic throughout the piece, but that could just be me. Also when using the phrase he thought to himself, you really don't need the to himself because thinking is generally to one's self. Also thoughts should be in italics so they stand out. You did such a nice job with your descriptions, I could easily picture them. It felt quite real and easy to understand the awe of John and the power of Jesus. You did a great job.
11/17/15
I like the way this story of John enfolded. You started with your time with Jesus before His death and you moved on to after the Resurrection. There was that interesting bit of "What shall we do with him?" and he is sent to the isle of Patmos from where he sees The Revelation. Is it that John was reduced to wonder at what transpired?
11/17/15
Sorry, I meant 'unfolded'
11/27/15
Beautifully written and expressed!

God Bless~