The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 353 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/21/16
I got a kick out of Roger's inventiveness. It was an entertaining read. I would suggest, however, that you need a better opening. It did not hook me, but I kept reading because I hoped I could find a gem in the middle, and I did. Practice makes perfect so keep at it.
01/22/16
I agree, the beginning needs more of a punch. However, I enjoyed this story very much. We had a party line in the 50' too, so I could really relate.

I think you have great potential, keep writing!
01/23/16
I remember the "olden" days, too.

I actually think you could have cut out the first paragraph all together. Maybe start with the MCs cranking up the phone to see what will happen.

You have a natural talent with storytelling; however, you need to learn to get into the actual story earlier.
Well written story of a by-gone time. It does bring back memories.
01/27/16
This was pretty funny and so entertaining! Great job!

I remember as a really young girl, my aunt had a party line, and she used to tell some eally funny stories!

Nicely done.

God bless~
01/28/16
Congratulations!!


God Bless~
01/28/16
Congratulations on your highly commendable award in the beginners category, Ingrid.

When I made suggestions earlier, it is only because I see so much potential. It has really helped me to read the Editors Choice winners to see how I could improve.
You have such a great sense of humor. Congratulations! Happy Dance!