The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 242 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
You do a nice job of setting the scene. I actually shivered at the crash bang part. (You can put onomatopeia in italics to emphasize it.) Also, I think you meant the whiney twang, not winey (although... ;) ) and thundering, not thundering's. You have a delightful, yet subtle sense of humor that I really enjoy. I was just feeling sad about not being able "to go home again." Your story helped me work through that and what is really important. I also liked your take on the topic. You did a nice job with this story.
This is a well written piece describing many of the current church scenes.

You might have included the coffee and donuts as well as others.

The world is breaking into church world whether we like it or not. Where are the elders who are the shepherds of the flock?
Ingrid, This story drew me in from the beginning. It is so sad when the pastor does not preach from the word of God.

Sometimes I miss the solace from the hymns that we used to sing and the music didn't repeat the same words over and over.

Yet I smile when I wanted to change the style of music in the days of my youth.

This story struck a cord.