The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/27/17
Such an intriguing story with such a depressing ending. It was an interesting concept and I feel like you could do a lot more with this idea.
Adding more details so we could see more, feel more, hear more and even taste more and you will have the start of a thrilling short story.

Add to what you already have here.
10/31/17
I think you have the beginnings of a terrific story, but you left off many important details.

Just start to think about the pirate. What did he look like? (maybe it was a female pirate)? Were the eyes beady or bug-eyed? Was or wasn't there a tattoo?

Add some dialog between the MC and the pirate.

Why was the main character in that area in the first place?

Start reading some books by your favorite authors and the Editor Choice winners entries.

I encourage you to keep writing.