The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 290 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/20/16
I enjoyed the authentic voice in this entry. The circumstances were such that everyone could relate, either as a driver or a passenger.

You were a bit inconsistent in your use of tenses. Some of it was written in present tense, and some of it past perfect (using 'had' verbs) and some of it in simple past.

Another thing for you to think about is the fact that this is such a common scenario. Since nearly everyone can relate to long car trips and the emotions associated with them, it would be great if you could find a way to make your experience totally unique and fresh for your readers. Perhaps there's some specific instance of either wakefulness or sleepiness on such a trip that really stands out, and that not many other people would have experienced. Writing about that, rather than about typical on-the-road experiences, might just make your piece stand out.

I enjoyed your pacing and your use of imagery and dialog in a first-person narrative, and your humor throughout (including in the title).
02/21/16
....so, travel in Australia isn't that much different! I remember many such trips across the Nullabor plain....
My favourite bit was your first par, esp. "temperature cool enough to keep meat from spooling"!! Yep, I married one of those too. Good description: so much better than "turned the temp down"!
02/24/16
It must have been scary to almost get in an accident while driving.

I think it is important to stop and sleep at a rest stop or motel during a long, monotonous journey.
02/25/16
Congratulations, Ruth, on your 3rd place entry in the Intermediate Category.

I don't blame you for your lack of enthusiasm for driving.