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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1514 times

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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/01/06
Very nice...and oh so true. I've spent many hours in prison listening to testimonies and you were able to describe the love of Jesus brilliantly, even in prison. Thank you!
I love Deke's constant song. Good job at showing the slow way God worried at Elmer's concince. I think you could have sucked us into the story even more at the beginning, by starting with the second sentence, and dropping the first. Good job! :-)
Man. I kept trying to think of a perfect song to fit into an entry this week and you went and did it instead. :)
09/03/06
A beautiful, heartfelt story of Jesus' great love. Great ending. I really enjoyed the read. Good job.
09/04/06
Tears......
09/06/06
Such a splendid entry, and on target for the topic. Your main characters ring true to life, and precious in His sight. This was very interesting reading with a satisfying end. Thank you!
09/06/06
What I like - You made your characters come to life! I liked the flow and the eventual ending. It tied up nicely but not too fast.

What I might change - this is just an opinion - but when you said 'he daily argured', I would reverse the order. very nice writing all the way through - did a great job of showing not telling.:) I do agree with the comment about dropping the first line - you don't need it to tell the story.
09/06/06
I really got into your story line. A few fixes mentioned above. Good dialog and insight into the life of someone who is so low, that he feels unclean before the Lord. I felt my spirits lift right along with the prisoner as he learned about Jesus! Good job.
09/07/06
Great dialogue. I liked the way it moved through the story. I also liked the conclusion. Perhaps Elmer will be saved after all. Thanks! I enjoyed this!