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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very nice...and oh so true. I've spent many hours in prison listening to testimonies and you were able to describe the love of Jesus brilliantly, even in prison. Thank you!
I love Deke's constant song. Good job at showing the slow way God worried at Elmer's concince. I think you could have sucked us into the story even more at the beginning, by starting with the second sentence, and dropping the first. Good job! :-)
Man. I kept trying to think of a perfect song to fit into an entry this week and you went and did it instead. :)
A beautiful, heartfelt story of Jesus' great love. Great ending. I really enjoyed the read. Good job.
Such a splendid entry, and on target for the topic. Your main characters ring true to life, and precious in His sight. This was very interesting reading with a satisfying end. Thank you!
What I like - You made your characters come to life! I liked the flow and the eventual ending. It tied up nicely but not too fast.

What I might change - this is just an opinion - but when you said 'he daily argured', I would reverse the order. very nice writing all the way through - did a great job of showing not telling.:) I do agree with the comment about dropping the first line - you don't need it to tell the story.
I really got into your story line. A few fixes mentioned above. Good dialog and insight into the life of someone who is so low, that he feels unclean before the Lord. I felt my spirits lift right along with the prisoner as he learned about Jesus! Good job.
Great dialogue. I liked the way it moved through the story. I also liked the conclusion. Perhaps Elmer will be saved after all. Thanks! I enjoyed this!