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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Amazing story! Wow. You made me cry! I loved that you used the true Jewish names.
Wonderful story. A unique and creative take on the beginning of Jesus' ministry.
I was captivated from the start. You’ve taken a story that so many have speculated about and written it…!! I love that you’ve done this. Joseph’s comment, “I’ve lost God’s Son”…Wow! -- amazing thought. Beautiful, beautiful ending…”follow me”, then the wedding (Jesus’ first miracle).. Excellent work. I’m so impressed.
What a wonderful conversation between a loving mother and Son!

Since so much of Mary's narrative is in the past tense, the present tense in the rest of the piece seems "off." Consider re-working it all past tense if you plan to go further with this gorgeous story.
Wow! It's extra challenging to write a piece that is mostly a conversation. This one reads like a drama.