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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Well done! I really like this. You captured the voice perfectly. I love how you wove in that despite what happened with Mammy coming over on a slave ship, God had HIS purpose for her.
Wonderful dialect, and mixing the actions (like stirring the stew) amongst the dialog really made the story pop. I love Mammy's attitude about freedom in Christ, and how she passed it on down to the younger generations. The ending is wonderful.
I read this earlier and didn't comment right away. It's one of those you have to think about. What I thought about was the slave cemeteries all around where I live. Some on my families homeplace. Lots of them with no last name. Some filtered in with the white families. Truly a different time. So many stories of faith and triumph, bitterness and love. Loved the attitude of the MC.
Love the title! I think you did a great job with the dialect, and the characterizations were perfect. Wonderful.
This is a tear-jerker and a wonderful picture of true freedom. Also, a terrbile reminder of the cruelty we humans can put on one another. A well-written entry.
Loved the attitude of Mammy. The truth that one is not free without Christ woven right into the fabric of this story really captured me.
I absolutely loved your story. From the voices of Mammy and Samuel to the endearing truth you portrayed. Incredible.
Great title, and I really love the relationship portrayed here.

I'm going to differ with the previous commentators about the dialect--it may be just a tad overdone, making it border on stereotypical. Consider that you can suggest a slave dialect by using about half of the non-standard spellings and grammar differences as you did, and run less of a risk of tapping into stereotypes.

Highly creative entry, very well-written.
Great story! I got lost at one point when "Grady" was mentioned twice. Did you mean "Samuel"? I love the way you showed that true freedom is through Jesus.
For others who will read this, yes, Christina just pointed out a blunder and I am so glad she did. I had researched first names of slaves and initially I went with Grady, but changed to Samuel. I don' know how many times I read and re-read to make sure I had changed them all...I still missed two!!!!
White plug-uglies arrived with guns and such. They captured th Temne and marched 'em all back t a ship.

White people did not run through the jungles trapping Africans, making them slaves.
By and large, Africans were sold to Europeans etc. by .. other Africans. Slavery was (and still is) alive and well in Africa.

I really don't think Temne is a word she would have used back then. Or Sierra Leone for that matter.

Also, I am not sure your time frame as Sierra Leone was set up as a haven for freed slaves by the British in 1787.

I like the character of Mammy. I would have loved to have a Mammy like that! But I think she remembers way too much detail from when she was little. (wink) Although the dialect sounds overdone, I think it is quite authentic. If it was scaled back though, I think it would read easier and flow more smoothly.

Couple spelling mistakes. To -when it should be Too. There -when it should be Their.

LOVE the truth in the message here. ""You know Jesus, chil'?..
Then you's free!"
Makes my spirit soar.:)
Good job.
You did an excellent job telling this story. Really truly:)
Emancipated is one of my favorite words. Loved the story.
Bryan, in regards to replacing a name that repeats in your story so you don't miss one. Word processing program tool bars have a way to do that under Edit called Find or Replace. I found out about it after I submitted a story where I changed the name but missed one. Hope that helps!