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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was a beautiful story with a very relatable MC. I loved the relationship Sarah and her grandmother shared. The pacing in the beginning felt a little slow with the explanations of the grandmother's struggles, but overall, very excellent writing and characterization!
I think your characterization of both women is very good. You've used a lot of rich detail. Very nice work on this entry!
Melancholy and tender--well done!

Since much of it is written in the past, you use a lot of "had (verb)" constructions, which get bulky after a while (and use up words). A possible fix: Write the stuff that's happening NOW in simple past tense, and the memories in present tense (perhaps in italics).

Just something to play around with in future entries. This is a very good story!
Poignant story.
Soft and tender. I like the protrayal of the relationship. Very sweet.
Nothing I can say. Great writing. The story seemed realistic. And although tender and emotional, it was in no way over the top. Reading it I felt a little bad for all the things I sometimes tell my own daughter, usually when I'm angry at her for something. Words have an effect that sometimes last a lifetime. We must be so careful.
Powerful! Keep writing!
Very touching.God bless our Godly grandparents they have such an impact. Lovely piece.
I can SO relate to this, what a powerful piece. I feel for Sara and the brown sweater and everything it represents. Been there, survived that. Really, really great piece, I loved it. ^_^
Your tender story did a good job of staying on topic while introducing strong characters. I especially liked the part where she discovered the sweater.
Power packed with emotions, tender story.
This was so rich. I could feel the textures, the emotions, the struggles of Sara. This felt really authentic... and made me want to hug her! Nice job and way to place up there.
This story is very poignant, and tender. I was glad to see Sara's victory at the end of the piece. Well written.

Thanks by the way for your kind words about my poem.