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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 812 times

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Member Comments
Member
Date
You brought up some great issues that many of us don't notice today. I liked how the baby learned to trust her nanny in her own time and way. You did a great job with the accent, it gave me a glimpse into the MC's history without being a distraction.
08/13/10
I really enjoyed this, especially the way of talking that the nanny had. I didn't catch a time period, but I got the feeling that this happened quite awhile ago. At least, that's what I was picturing. So then, the mention of the stroller caught me off-guard, buecause I associate those with more modern times. But perhaps it was a more modern story and my mind was just insisting it was older. Regardless - very good writing made this an enjoyable read for me!
08/17/10
The premise of this story was absolutely wonderful. Always look for ways to tighten your writing - think of ways to evoke descriptions without spelling everything out. The story will be tighter and you'll have more words to devote to developing your characters.
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level.
08/26/10
You create such delightful characters, this is really a joy to read.
08/27/10
I like this a lot, your MC was just what I used to pretend I had when Mom was at work. Your right, we all don't accept people or changes the same way. Thanks.