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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is delightful. I'm so honored that you took me back in time to share such a special memory. I felt like I was right there with you.

Retelling memories can be hard because you are doing it from an adult POV. I chuckled at the epiphany at the end but I felt like the voice had changed. I'm not quite sure how to resolve it. Part of me wants to see the story from the eyes of a five year old but another part enjoys it more from the viewpoint and wisdom of an adult. Perhaps the narrative could be in the adult's voice and the dialog in the child's.

Though even that tiny detail is no big deal. It didn't interrupt the flow of the story for me at all. I absolutely loved that you used cuz instead of the more proper cause because it is how one says it, with that harsh z sound at the end. It really helped me to get inside the mind of the little five year old. I also enjoyed the subtle, yet wise, message. I struggle with what the next phase of my life will be like. But you showed me that life changes but also the way we see things changes. What sage advice for me to remember that what may feel like an insurmountable mountain to me right now may only be a pile of dirt when I look at it through wise eyes. The timing of this message is absolutely perfect for me right now. God is amazing at how all of these "coincidences" just happened to come together for me to hear His voice in your words at the exact time I needed them and more important was ready to hear them. :)
Enjoyed the sights, sounds, and scents of your picnic memories!
It's nice to look back to simpler times...
Wing His Words!
This is so cute and well written. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful memory.

I too am amazed at the way we view the size of things when we are small. God made a child's life full of wonder, didn't He?
Awwww! Many of us could relate to this sweet well written story. I was right there eating the tuna sandwich with the homemade thick bread! Fantastic job with imagery and interaction between the older and younger siblings.

You nailed the topic while you took many of us for a sweet ride down "memory lane." Nicely done, thank you for sharing this touching story.

God Bless~
This was such a wonderful story. It had the ability to take you back to the simplicity of a country farm through the eyes of a child. i so enjoyed the interaction between the two girls and all the questions the younger one asked. I could feel the sense of wonder in her. Thank you SO much for sharing this!
I loved it!
it made me remember some picnics my brother and I had with the neighbor boys. But can I have a PB&J instead of Tuna?
Aaahh nostalgia! But today's nostalgia is nowhere near as good as the nostalgia we used to have!!!!
I loved this all the way through. A few superfluous commas interrupted the flow only slightly, but I thought you wrapped it up beautifully. Excellent work which should rate well.
Such a sweet delightful story! Made me hungry for a tuna sandwich on homemade bread. The sisters are an adorable pair. God bless!
I loved how you ended your story. I remember having lots of adventures like this when I was little. So funny:) Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations for ranking 7th in level three Happy Dance!