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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Touching, soul searching, deep thinking story. Very interest worthy and well, well, written. I enjoyed this one so much.
Terrific [email protected]
How are you not in the masters circle? :) Wonderful story, fabulous message. God's got plans for this writer!!!
Great message and well-written. Loved the way you moved back and forth from description to dialogue. The only problem? I wanted to keep on reading! :)
I truly enjoyed this "Poetic" story, with outstanding descriptive paragraphs. The images came to life. Nicely done.

God bless~
I really enjoyed this lovely tale. Your allegory is a perfect message and a delightful fit for the topic. In the beginning I was slightly taken back by the change from past perfect to using the gerunds. It just interrupted the flow a tiny bit for me, but didn't take me long to settle back into the delightful story. Good job.
This whole devotional shone with the love of our Lord. It is interesting that you chose one of Jesus' lesser known apostles, Jude, to be your MC here. I loved how you interwove the atmosphere of the camp fire on the beach with the apostle's teachings of Jesus. This was a wonderful take on the topic. I had actually thought of doing a devotion on this same theme, but I am terrible at writing fiction (at least so far), and this piece had devotional qualities, but it was was really biblical fiction which is much harder to do. I appreciated this very much. Thank you for Jesus's words by the sea, I love everything more with the sea as its backdrop. This piece had such lovely descriptions too...
A timeless sermon for us all!

Your writing is good and concise, so I'm going to critique the story just a bit because you do the dialogue well. You may consider showing this scene from a character's viewpoint. One of the listeners perhaps, who sees the sparks flying from the fire, feels the love in his own heart. Or even from Jacob's viewpoint, as he leans in and listens, hoping not to be discovered, but yearning for the joy he sees in each of their eyes.

Just a suggestion. Like I said, your overall writing is good which is why I thought I'd point out some things to make it even better :-)

Wonderful analogy. That we would all learn to stop splashing and swim out deep.
I really liked the entire piece, but the line while "God supports us upon the waves of His love" resonated in my spirit. Sweet and insightful devotional. Well done.
Wonderful. So descriptive, terrific story and characters.
I could just picture myself as one of the listeners at this early church fireside gathering on the beach! I, too, leaned in to listen to the wonderful words of the teacher, and I rejoiced when the fisherman wanted to accept Jesus and be baptized with a big splash to signal his conversion to the devil! :)

Your descriptions put me right on the scene, and one of my favorite lines was: "Sparks from the blazing campfire flew upward, swirling toward the heavens, as if to join the thousands of sparkling points of light looking down from above."

The teaching was so captivating, as well! Great writing!
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level and 29 overall!