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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You had me fooled right until the end! Engaging story. Nicely done.
Wow! The ending caught me by surprise. Loved all of it. Well done.
A fitting title and a nice, surprising twist at the end. Well done.
The thought of Lot's story entered my mind, but I was too caught up in your story to consider it.

Well written and captivating.

Thank for sharing.
Wonderful suspense.
Loving anything more than God and His plans is indeed 'cancer that metastasizes into insanity.' Fun description :)
Well done! This was an excellent bit of writing and an ingenious way of presenting the topic!

I really enjoyed this.

God bless~
Yes, I enjoyed this. It's true what the other readers said. I too, was fooled by the end. At first I was wondering were this would lead and then it hit me in the end. This surprising endtwist was well thought out and must have taken some thought. I read it a second time and appreciated your use of language.
I admit to being confused as I read -- but when the ending came, it all made wonderful sense. As already said, you did a great job of concealing the ending and setting the reader up for a surprise.

Excellent piece of work here!

I didn't have a clue until the last few lines.

Great storytelling and yet another unique POV on a Biblical account.
I didn't see this ending coming at all. I love it when there is a good twist. You demonstrated how this could be happening today. For many it seems like a fairy tale, but the voice you used made it feel modern and that if allowed to go unchecked still today, Satan can quickly get the upper hand quite easily. Great job and quite thought provoking.
HA! Surprise! I was captivated till the end.