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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I'm very thankful your mother had you. Regardless of what she said,somewhere deep inside she knew you were acting out of love.
You did well telling your story and the covering the topic.

Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your mom I'm quite sure heard you, and with God's grace and intervention, she responded accordingly. She's at peace, and now knows there is in fact a God.

I pray this was cathartic for you and brings you peace and acceptance. You're an amazing daughter, and she knows how much you cared.

God bless you~
This story is a good reminder to move forward on something when we feel impressed to do so - even if we feel it might be crazy. I'm so glad you did! Thank you for sharing.
Wow this is intense and sad, but also full of hope. My heart aches for you, even though it's been years. Somethings are hard to "get over" no matter what. Years ago a certain medication made me suicidal and I could relate to the feelings Mom was experiencing. It's amazing what God can and does do for us. I get the fearful of dying part as I, even in my most darkest hours still had a horrific death phobia. I've always found it ironic, but believe it's one of God's mysterious ways of protecting me.
I hesitate to comment on such a powerful story, but I'll admit the sudden change of POV distracted me a bit and slowed down the flow as I puzzled for a minute to figure it all out. I may have either kept it in the third person the entire way or started out in the first person after the scene of Mom alone. It's just something to think about. I wanted to share how it impacted me, but it may make others react differently.

You did a beautiful job of sharing something that must have been very difficult. I admire your courage and your obedience to God. He will use your words in many ways and I'm positive I'm not the only heart that you will touch. You did an outstanding job of setting the story up. The message is powerful and brings tears to my eyes. Your ending brought another kind of tears. You showcased how much the Holy Spirit loves us and intercedes on our behalf. Praise God and may he bless you for sharing this awesome piece.
Thank you so much for sharing this personal story. it is a sober reminder to me to act on those impressions, instead of allowing fear to dissuade me. I'm so glad it ended well and your mum left this world in peace. I liked the drama of your story and liked how you separated the various scenarios.
Such a powerful testimony to the grace of God. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this moment in your life with us.
Powerful story! You always hear about children needing their parents, but sometimes it's the other way around. Your mother needed you, and you did the best thing you could do in her final hours which was point her to Jesus.

There were a few typos (medicine bottle "set" instead of "sat") and grammatical errors, but none of them kept me from enjoying this story. Grammar and punctuation is easy enough to fix. It's the heart of the story that matters moat, and this story has a lot of heart.

Thanks for sharing!
And I even left a grammatical error in my comment above. Meant to say "most" not moat. We all do it. No biggie. :)

Thanks again for sharing this story.
This must have been hard to write. So thankful it had a happy ending. Impulses like you had are from God.
You wrote of an obviously painful life experience with compassion for your mom's condition and her subsequent end of life decision.

I think she would be pleased!
It's tough to write something like this, I know. I'm glad you put it down, along with your hopes and your worry. I know that doing something similar about the death of my father helped me tremendously; hopefully it does the same for you.

Overall I felt your writing was excellent, the characters felt real and the situations authentic. Like someone else said, I'm not sure I like the POV shift, and I don't think it was necessary as it could just have easily continued in the 3rd person with the same dramatic effect. But that is all subjective and I suspect there are others who prefer the way you presented it, so it's really more important how you feel about that.

One thing I think was missing, that would have helped me understand the mom character's personality better is if I knew what happened to the dad. The story mentions him leaving on a long walk...did he come back? Did they stay together or separate? Those answers reveal situational impactions on the mom's psyche. In the end I'm left to wonder; did she stay bitter because the husband never came back?

This is a lot of commenting, so I'm sorry to go on, but I do really like what you're written here, or I wouldn't bother to comment.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

This reminds me of my first mother-in-law, and inspires my next article strongly.

I think I thank you. I am cluttering my keyboard with tears and empathy ...