Notice: session_start(): A session had already been started - ignoring in /var/www/vhosts/ on line 34

Notice: Undefined index: KT_UserID in /var/www/vhosts/ on line 35
The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 633 times

Notice: Undefined variable: comments in /var/www/vhosts/ on line 216
Member Comments
Thank you for taking me into the thoughts and prayers of Pen, Notebook, Owner and Creator . . .

Don't forget to "Throw A Brick" for comments, critique and sometimes, warm fuzzies.
This was so well written and delivered. I really thought this an excellent piece.

God Bless~
Very nicely done. There was enough action and dialogue to keep it interesting and I found myself really wanting to see how it turned out. Great job.
I kept waiting for the "war" to be something other than a real war, something pen and paper characters would find threatening like IPads, or mobile phones and the explosions turning out to be ringtones or notification sounds. It just had that feel of a modern day fable using metaphoric representations.

But you surprised me with it being a serious piece and about a soldier being saved in the midst of a real war. I went from thinking it was going to be fun to the sobering fact that it was dead serious. But I loved every minute of it. You did such a great job of making me an eyewitness to your story and so happy to be one too.

Thanks for sharing!
Wow. talk about creativity! I kept wondering what the war was about, until the last. Great job with this one. Great take on the topic!
Absolutely loved this title. Straight away I am intrigued and want to read more!
And your starting line’s brilliant – I can barely wait to read what’s coming next and you did not disappoint. Your personification of Pen and Notebook was very convincing and you had me on tenterhooks following the explosion. Only one word didn’t work for me and that was “dumped”. Perhaps “violently thrown” or just simply “catapulted” would have been better. Great conclusion - unexpected but satisfying. Excellent.
Really enjoyed your unique take on the topic.

It was refreshingly unpredictable throughout.

Well done!
Very creative and well done. Almost felt like I was right there. Loved the ending. Keep up the good work. LaVonne
Very creative. Well done.
I loved this story. I think it's out of the box and fresh. I know some don't care for personification of inanimate objects, I love it because it shows the creativity. I often wonder what animals and things think. As a kid, my favorite color was yellow because I felt sorry for it because most people liked blue. Your story reminded me of those days, yet the setting and atmosphere was so serious and suspenseful. You did an awesome job of mixing the innocent with the pain.

I did notice a couple of things. I wondered how notebook could fit in pocket, then it dawned on me that it was likely one of those small handheld ones. It only took me a second to catch on. The other thing that made me pause was that the pen and notebook were meters away after the explosion so I struggled with how owner managed to reach them.

It didn't take me long to get back into this beautiful story, though. I had tears in my eyes. You made me stop and pray for all of those in combat and their moms at home praying. You nailed the topic. Your beginning introduced the conflict immediately and propelled the story onward. Your message was strong and clear, and your ending realistic and beautiful.
I really enjoyed your tale written from Pen's and Notebook's POV. I was surprised when I realised the setting was war, but then that worked really well. I hoped that the note found its way to his mother. (My entry is also war related so that made yours extra interesting!) Well written.
I loved this story! Very creative and engaging.
I have nothing new to add. Just reread all the other comments and I agree 100%.
Great story! Your 'pen and paper' were much more loyal than mine! :)
When I first started reading, I thought this was going to be a children's story. Then I realized that this was a real war going on. Nice surprise!

I would have liked a bit more sensory information, but I realize telling this from the perspective of the pen and paper tucked into a pocket made the lack of details appropriate. They were confused as to what was happening, so it made sense to have the reader taking that journey with them.

Though sad, I think the ending was appropriate, and I couldn't have pictured a better way to end it. You gave a very unique perspective to this week's topic, and it was a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations for ranking 7th in your level! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.