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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a winner - the most delightful tale I've read in quite a while. Keep writing and I will keep reading!
I really liked the MC in the story. This entry really fit this week's topic and ended with a fun twist.
Well done in delivery and content. Great job!

God bless~
A most enjoyable read. Great story-telling, great use of the topic and great ending.
What a delightful tale and such a surprise at the end. Congratulations on a well deserved win!
What a lovely story. Many congrats on your well deserved win which was so delightful to read.
What a lovely story about a quaint little town. You have a way with words and a nice flow to your style of writing. Congratulations on your 1st place win in EC.
Oh I loved this from the take on the Lemony Snickett title to the very last word. I fell in love with your MC. You made her so real. I could picture this unfolding in my own small town because you did such a brilliant job of bringing the story to life.

I'm probably the only one crazy enough to give red ink on the highest ranked story... The ink is really a light pink--when combining words to make an adjective, use a hyphen (out-of-state plates). Plus it cuts down on your word count ;)
I also noticed this line could be taken two ways: The two girls tugged and pleaded with their dad waving chocolate bars in their hands.
I'm guessing the girls were waving the chocolate, not the dad. You could put a comma, but I'd suggest you just rewrite it for clarity: Waving chocolate bars in their hands, the girls tugged on Dad's shirt while pleading with him.
Looking closer, I did see you used their hands, which makes it clearer it's the girls, but it still might be good to rearrange it for clarity for fast readers. :)

Did I mention how brilliant this piece was? I loved how you developed your characters and how the townie became ugly herself. That was genius and really showcased the topic. I'm so happy for you. You've always been gifted, but it's been a delight to see you blossom even more this past year. I always enjoy your stories. Congratulations and Happy, Happy Dance!!!
Congratulations Amy,

I truly enjoyed this story! Does this mean you're moving up? I can't wait to read more.
Congratulations on your well deserved 1st place EC award. It really was my favorite story this week.
Congratulations on your well-deserved win. You built us up to a terrific twist that we never saw coming. Loved it!
I haven't been here in the forums for wayyy too long so reading your story first has left me considering why I haven't been squeezing time in to read the amazing creative and freshly insightful entries.

All that to say WELL done and I'm thrilled at how you and your daughter are progressing through the Writing Challenge.

You both have a wonderful gift!
That was a fun read. I loved it! You caught me right from the start and then pow with a great ending. I live in an area that has year around tourists. So you can see how real your story is to my experience. I hope people who are tourists see things from the view of your story. It will make us all happier.

I bet you tell your girls stories, then write them down.

Have a great day!
Well written with just the right amount of tension and who doesn't love an Awwww ending? Loved it.