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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 484 times

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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/15
Wow! You have captured the drama and drawn us into it with a measure of restraint that resonates with authenticity. Loved your title too.
You did a great job. I loved how you introduced the conflict right at the beginning. Then another conflict a paragraph in helped build the suspense even more. The only red ink I would offer would be to stay away from clichés like bawling like a baby, hardest of hearts, deafest of ears. You do such a brilliant job in picking great words, I think it would be more powerful to describe your crying in your own words, showing how it builds from a whimper and cresendoes into a sobbing plea. The other thing is tiny too. Okay is spelled out or two capitals with no periods, OK. I think this is a powerful story. I love how God allows storms to rage in order to bring his children home. It's one of my favorite quotes: Sometimes, God calms the storm, but sometimes he let's the storm rage and calms his child. Your story could be the behind the scenes description of that saying. It was paced perfectly and was a delightful read.
Love the title! Congratulations many times over!
09/21/15
Your description rang true, especially for anyone who has experienced a major car wreck. That's part of what makes you a great writer.

I also liked how you tied in the daughters cocoon to mom's epiphany.

Well done!