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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I was drawn in by your creative title. My mouth was watering for all the delightful dishes after reading this piece. You painted the sights and smells so deliciously. I really liked the line: He had planted seeds of appreciation in the the people who had grown to love him.
This made we wish I were there too. And I would love to have known the flower vendor who, "made you feel like you were the most important person in his life." Thanks for all your hard work. Best of luck in the Challenge!
This is a sweet story. It's the type I could see being passed on for generations. You did a nice job of describing the scenes.

My biggest red ink is that it's lacking a conflict. On the forums, Jan's Writing Basics is doing several lessons about the importance of conflict. I'd really urge you to check it out and participate too.

The other thing I noticed was a tiny POV shift when
Sorry, I hit submit before I was ready. I noticed a tiny POV shift when The man noticed... Since the MC is told in the first person, the reader can only know, see, feel, or think what the MC does. Knowing the man noticed is a shift, but you could do something like The man wiggled his finger back and forth. "You'll have to get you own. I'm not sharing today."
It's not much of a change, it's subtle but you are sharing what the MC sees, not guessing what someone notices.

I did like the way you sprinkled the topic throughout the entire story from the MC's zest for life to the man's excitement about the food. The whole piece has a nice upbeat feel to it.
Grr I did it again! I also wanted to say I think you did a nice job with presenting a pertinent message. You showed the ways God delights in our lives. It didn't come off preachy or forced bit was a lovely ending to a lovely read. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Excellent work!

God bless~
I didenjoy the story. Itreminded me of open air markets in Brazil. I saw you used the incorrect "isle" which should have been "aisle". Also "waited shortly" did not sound right in my ears. I'm sure you meant that you waited a short time.