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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 377 times

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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/26/15
I remember the one room school house as well. I think you could have used synonyms for grate to alleviate the repetition.
11/29/15
I like your analogies and your descriptiveness, and how you have completed this well within the word limit.
11/30/15
I liked: 'There are no grate-like iron bars separating me from the warmth of Jesusí love.' Good phrase.
Suggestion: The first sentence in the second paragraph you switch from past tense to present tense: 'as I would like it to be'. Instead maybe say: 'as I would have liked it...'
12/02/15
I enjoyed this so much...very well done.

God bless~
This is a delightful devotion. I think the picture you painted of Jesus holding us in his warm arms made me feel so safe and protected. The only red ink I'd offer is to count the number of times you used the word grate. Don't be afraid to restructure sentences or use synonyms. If you haven't submitted to FW devotions before, I'd urge you to do so. You definitely have a gift for it.