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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 322 times

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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/25/16
I loved this. The characterizations were good. My only question was at the end where Renee is sailing away, yet I recall she had left her husband still in bed. I think you needed some transition there.
08/27/16
Well written entry with a great message.

God bless~
I enjoyed reading your short story. I selected this story to read because the title caught my attention, wondering why someone would be called something corrosive like salt. However,the sense of place-- the seaside air and smells, the ship at the dock and walking along the pier-- were vivid and easy for me to imagine. I think I could hear the characters' French accents as well! For me, I would like to know more deeply about the characters of Renee and Salt, what motivates them. Why is Renee so disgruntled? How did this happen? What exactly should Salt be expected to be pessimistic, beyond being poor and possibly in poor health? I wanted to connect to these characters more because I think they have potential to be great, interesting characters. The ending is probably the most problematic for me. I like the message, but I'm not sure how Renee got there. It seems like Salt should tell her a story or say something specific and moving that gets her thinking beyond herself and her own personal comforts. Let us as readers follow her thoughts as she lies in bed, pondering what Salt has told her, so we can see how she begins to know God. Also, I agree with the other reviewer who mentioned her missing husband at the end. I don't think Renee decided to leave her husband behind. It might make nice framing to show her and Jacques, hand in hand, boarding the boat again to depart as a contrast to their arrival in the beginning. I hope this helps--Good luck!
09/01/16
The title drew me in. Salt was such an interesting character.

Parts of the story needed more transition because it was confusing in parts. Did Renee tell her husband about what transpired? Why did she leave him behind? Did he stay for business reasons or were there problems in their marriage?

I liked your story overall; I think you have very good storytelling ability. With a little revision, your readers would not be left in the dark and would feel more satisfied while reading it.