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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have the foundation of a good story here. I enjoyed the characters and the storyline.

You could use a little tightening to help the flow and not bog the reader down. For example, I might edit the opener like this:

I shook my head and raised my eyebrows. "Are you talking to me?" I couldn't believe those words could come from my sweet son's mouth. (in italics) What happened to my perfect parenting skills? (in italics) I had to reach up with my hand and physically close my mouth.

I just switched around the order, added body language and thought while tightening it to make it clearer. The phrase, closed my mouth agape sounds like a confusing oxymoron.

You have a lot of good things in this piece. I love your sense of humor, your ability to question and laugh at yourself. You did a great job of writing on topic too. I really enjoyed this