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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You have a delightful sense of humor or. I loved your descriptive details that made me aquire.

You need to tighten up some of your sentences. Make them a bit simpler and take out details that don't move the storyline along. For example, the beginning weighed me down a bit. I couldn't figure out who the MC was at first. I'm not sure you needed all the information in the first couple of paragraphs. Instead, I might have started when Bob and preacher entered and then filled in some of the necessary details a bit later.

I think you did a nice job on the topic too. The ending was great and left me with a chuckle. You did a good job.
I lived that way earlier in my life; fortunately, I realized what the ending would be and changed course. Chase the wrong things in life and all you end up with is a nice casket.
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level. Happy Dance!