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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oh wow. I liked the futuristic aspect of this story. Gravity-free air pools and invisibility cloaks. I loved it.
I LOVE the sci-fi flavor of this piece!
Wow - this had such an eerie quality to it. Very intriguing and atmospheric. Loved the sci-fi aspects. (I wonder if I know who did this?) I was afraid for that boy's life from the beginning - but WHO was after him was a total surprise until the very end. So effective!
VERY creative story, and I enjoyed the interplay between heavenly and earthly (or spacely??) things. I think I would have let the reader know from the get-go who the boy was so that the drama was even stronger.
VERY cool!! :) loved the ending.
OOO the thrill of suspence and with a futuristic feel. Keped me glued as always. Very well done..
Master's quality for sure and held my interest throughout! Well-done!
Great message and so masterfully written! The ending was excellent!
Oops...I backspaced on your entry, Amy...Of couse I loved it (see comment I made..) but meant it for Jan's...I'm really not nuts & did realize I'd already commented on yours....loved your ending, too, though
You have SUCH a creative mind! There's a sci-fi book, "Ender's Game" that has a kind of similar anit-grav room, but with a very different function. It's an awesome book; I highly recommend it. Anyway, this was great fun to read, so different from every other entry and very well-written.
WOW! Very interesting! An unique approach and it held my attention from beginning to end. Very good. Thanks for sharing it
Top marks for creativity and suspense. Loved it.
A captivating, creative and very well written story. Great job!
Very creative entry, the pace was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Amy this was terrific! I couldn't take my eyes away from the page for a second. Thanks for writing this captivating piece.
To be honest, it took me a while to get into this. At first, when I thought it was a regular pool and lifeguard, I thought you were just trying to be overly dramatic. BUT as soon as I read that it was turning scifi, I loved it! You kept me wondering what was after Paul, whether it'd be supernatural or some odd creature. I loved the twist of it being an assassin trying to kill the president's son. Very cool choice. :)
Great Job...

I was worried about this "watcher". I thought he was after Paul.
This was excellent. I loved the suspense and the way you kept me guessing all the way through.
I really like the beginning and the element of the "unknown" in your story. I realized it was futuristic when I came to "Swimming in water?” Paul giggled. “What for?”

I stumbled over the word "Briloranta" describing Paul's shirt, but am asuuming it must be a brand name? Maybe a name more recognizable to the masses would be better. Also was confused by what actually happened to Paul in the pool.

The "watcher" caught me - I thought he was going to be the bad guy!

Nice job, Amy! And a very captivating read. I'd like to know your secret. Super busy schedule, major committments to FW and the conference among other things, I'm sure, and you write such an incredibly creative and well-thought out article. Definitely a "stand-out" in comparison to all of the others in this level. If I wore a hat, I would be taking it off for you, Amy! Instead I am standing and clapping. Bravo! Encore!
Love it! Out of the box... really well paced. Great work!
Great job creating suspense and keeping the reader's attention. Excellent creative writing.
Great piece of Sci-fi, Amy. Dramtic tension maintained from beginning to end. yeggy