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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like this. I kept thinking the "Billy" might be a famous Billy, but that's probably just me. That's not necessarily "red ink" either. You did a nice job with this one.
Your intertwining of Jesus' prayer with Billy's life of crime is very powerful. The end was good, but I think it was a bit abrupt. Otherwise, it was a moving story. I especially like the line about Jesus drinking the cup.
I love the beginning. How Jesus could have been thinking especially about this little boy before He went to the cross. Awesome thought. He could have been thinking of me. He was, actually. Of us all. Thought-provoking story.
I really liked your personalizing Jesus' reason for dying for Billy, a symbol for each one of us.
I think this is a very creative slant on an age-old theme. The concise descriptions of Christ's surrender are a chilling backdrop to Billy's life story. The voice and narrative tone create a fittingly somber tone, yet the opening prayer of the "lone figure" keeps us from losing hope. Loved it.