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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. I felt such a strong conviction from the MC, but it didn't feel the least bit preachy. A powerful piece, and a great application of the theme.
An awesome reminder written beautifully.
Very well written. Caught the emotion of the event.
Excellent! Living in Connecticut where that horrific scene of all of those beautiful children and adults died at the hands of a madman, this touched my heart deeply and resonates such truth!

Well written and thought provoking truths...thank you!

God bless~

God bless~
Congratulations Lillian! I knew this would do well. It's one of those "wish it wasn't true" stories that breaks your heart. I thank God that He will make all things new! Excellent writing!
Wow, what a compelling read. You took me right into the mind of the MC. I even found myself holding my breath. I think you did a brilliant job with this piece.

I hesitate to mention it because all of the experts don't necessarily agree, but the following rule from the Blue Book of Grammar seems to be what most people advise: Rule 13 Use numerals with the time of day when exact times are being emphasized or when using A.M. or P.M. Example:
She had a 7:00 P.M. deadline.

Overall, I think you did an amazing job. I love the line It didn't used to be...It made me think of parents who said, "When I went to school, we walked barefoot in the snow, five miles uphill both ways." Except, now it's a sadder comparison. Where walking barefoot might have strengthened those in the 1800s, but no kid should ever have to endure a school shooting. (Sorry I know I rambled a bit, but my mind tends to do that.) Congratulations on the EC and of course you know I'm doing my patented Happy Dance!!! (well I tried to get it patented :))
The bravest folk in the world today are parents. I could not have children. I dread to think about having grandchildren in school today. This could make me a big advocate of home schooling. Thank you for this reminder to pray for parents, teachers and all the wee innocent ones caught up in the ugliness of what should never have been birthed . . .

Congratulations, and thank you for your heart for Christ!

Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
Congratulations Lillian. This brilliantly written piece had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. I am so glad it's a fictional story, but sadly it's been factual for others far too often. In my school days (long ago) each day would begin with hymns, prayers and bible reading. It's a sad fact that now parents are scared to part with their children at the school gates.
Oh Lilian, this was just heart-breaking to read and, I guess, may have been heart-breaking to write also? It tells a tale too often heard on our news. Beautifully written, well deserving of its EC and full of serious warning too. Thankyou.
Your story was so gripping and believable - I wondered if you had been the MC in a real drama.