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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/18/18
Is this the beginning chapter of a larger story? It doesn't end here. . .
06/18/18
This piece seems to have the makings of the beginning of a good story. You did a great job with the foreshadowing and with the descriptions. However, I was thrown off by the switching back and forth between the past and the present. I also didn't know if her dazed state regarding the food was also supposed to be attributed to the diabetes or to a general dreaminess in regards to the wedding. There seems to be quite a bit of important backstory that plays into the present state as well that was hinted at, but never described.