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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I’m sorry to say your story was rather difficult to follow. I had to go back several times to get straight in my mind the different characters and relationships. It seemed reading this piece was as wild a ride as your trip. I know when writing a true story the writer’s mind sees events clearly and misses the confusion for the read. I bet you can do some rewrite and share your story in a more meaningful way. Thanks for sharing your adventure. God bless.
I have to agree with Bonnie. The read felt suffocated by unneeded words somehow. If that's the feel you were going for, success. If not, a little strategic trimming might let the story breathe a little more. I think there's a good snapshot-story in here somewhere... thanks for posting it.
'Wish you were here' postcard greetings would not work here. That was a very dangerous trip. You have had an amazing life!

Wing His Words
Quite a story! Why were they going to their destination? Why was the girl blind for five months? Why was a smashed animal funny to them? What an adventure. Would love to know the overall story behind that trip.
I think this is a great story, especially since it is true. The reading of the map shows that might not always get you to your destination, but ins
Sorry phone is doing wonky things. The reading of the map shows that a map may not always get you to your destination. Instead, sometimes you have to follow the instincts given to you by God, which is a powerful message. I think it was quite clear what happened. It doesn't matter why the MC had been blind for 5 months, just that by following God's guidance, she is able to do incredible things like live in Africa and travel unmarked paths by listening to God. The reason for the blindness would be another whole story. I also absolutely understood that a jeep going slowly on a unknown road would not kill a massive longhorn. Many might laugh when nervous, which is clearly why you were laughing. The longhorn would have done way more damage to the car than to the animal. Not to mention if it had been hurt seriously, you'd never be able to keep going. I think this shows incredible strength and the message is a strong one. Manmade maps can send us down the wrong path, but listening to God will get us to our destination, even though that road is often narrow and bumpy.
This was such an intricately woven story that kept my attention throughout, all the while hoping they'd make it to their destination.

You certainly nailed the topic, and thank you for sharing your adventure with us.

God's protection over you is proven once again.

I especially loved your honesty about "God protecting you from stepping on poisonous snakes" I can't imagine doing this with sight, let alone without sight such as yourself--I always marvel at how God protects you in the Jungle so many times over, your true stories always are a witness to God's love.

Thank you for sharing this incredibly well written entry.

You amaze me Dannie in all you accomplish by God's grace.

Thanks for sharing,

God bless~
Brave people to manage in this environment. I couldn't do it. On topic, and you took us on an adventure with you and relayed the message of God's protection.
What an adventure! I could feel the anxiety of the passenger helpless at the mercy of the more carefree driver. I liked the sensory descriptions of being blind, showing us how you saw it through touch and sound.
This well written story reminded me of how brave and sacrificial those are who leave the comforts of home to take the Gospel to needy souls. Your story also showed how God gifts the other senses with "extra" when sight is gone. Thank you for your service in His name.
Congratulations on ranking 17th overall! Happy Dance!