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The FaithWriters Writing Challenge and contest for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/14/19
I loved it!
Great story with a wonderful message...Nicely done.

Blessings~
I enjoyed how this started. I could picture a little one on Grandpa's knee, giggling and bouncing, surrounded by love and safe at Grandpa's knee. You did a fantastic job of drawing me in. I never connected that nursery rhyme with the parable. I wish you had gone on more about why you remember this or maybe why it was so important to the grandfather. The transition from the little tot to retelling the parable felt a bit sudden to me. Of the approximately 400 or so words, only about half of them were original words. Well, I love the Scripture, I'd have liked to see you transition it more to the beginning, to have more from the MC's speculation and memories. You started out spectacularly, and made me stop and think of both the nursery rhyme and the Scripture in New ways, which is always great. I like the way your mind works, I just wanted more of your words, with the Scripture cited at the end. You've a great way of telling the story, and I can feel your passion to spread the Word.
02/16/19
Talk about stirring ancient memories...I recited the familiar childhood verse as I read. Grandpa had farmer's bib overalls and Daddy had those familiar khakis. I can smell the fabric on each beloved man right now. It's an interesting way to connect with a favorite Bible passage. Thanks for sharing!
02/17/19
I thought it interesting and unique combining the nursery rhyme and the Scripture. Made me think of both in a new way.
I like the unique way you used the rhyme to tell the story. Perhaps less scripture, and more showing the story. The title made me think of "The jig is up."