Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: GRADUATE (08/01/19)
- TITLE: Crazy Career Community College
By Laurie Glass
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Can you believe we’re about to graduate from high school? Remember when we used to talk about what we wanted to do when we grew up? I said I wanted to perform colonoscopies just to get a reaction out of you.
At my Underachievers Anonymous meeting last night, I found out that regular meeting attendees can receive a 20% discount on tuition at a local college. So I picked up a catalog. You won’t believe what it said.
Here at Crazy Career Community College, we prepare you for a career of limited fulfillment, financial instability, and freak show status. Read the choices below:
Ant Hill Builder
Barf Cleaner Upper
Cherry Stem Artist
Chocolate Chip Whisperer
Handmade Toilet Paper Maker
Road Kill Remover
Sloth Race Referee
I’m laughing so hard that I can barely breathe. This letter is just as funny now as it was in the 80s.
There were also some pictures of their most recent graduation. They wore paisley gowns in their class colors, and dunce caps instead of graduation caps, with Silly String instead of tassels. There was an excerpt from the program, too.
Class motto – Don’t work any harder than you have to.
Class Colors – Mint Green and Pumpkin Orange
Class Flower – Stink Weed
Class Insect – Beautiful Wood-nymph Moth
Class Song – John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Class Vice – Biting our toenails
Doesn’t that sound awesome? I might apply. Wanna join me?
Your Favorite Underachiever,
She always did crack me up. I’m so glad I kept this letter. Leslie went on to be a successful comedian. I haven’t seen her for years, but I get to see her perform next month and will meet with her after the show. I’ll take this letter with me and see if she remembers it. It’s priceless, and maybe she can work it into one of her comedy routines.
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