Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: IMPOSSIBLE (09/05/19)
- TITLE: The Untalented Star
By Laurie Glass
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Biting her lip and looking like she’d rather be just about anywhere else, Lisa began to sing.
To do the impossible thing,
to belt the unreachable notes,
to deal with being tone deaf,
to perform and hope for your votes.
To sing the unsingable song,
to try though my ego may scar,
to croon though my voice is all wonky,
to be an untalented star.
This is my goal, to stand as that star,
no matter how bad my dreadful notes are.
To go for the win
without training or help.
To be willing to sing,
to the crowd and embarrass myself.
I’m assured if I’ll only pursue
this, my wonderful dream,
that the no-talent crown will be mine,
that I hold in esteem.
Though the crowd will suffer for this,
I will still know I’m better by far,
for having put aside my ego,
and be the untalented star.
“Thank you, Lisa. As you can tell by looking at their cringes, yet hearing their laughter, you had one of the strongest acts of the night. What would you like to say to the audience before they cast their votes?”
Looking more calm, yet surprised, Lisa responded, “I didn’t think I could ever caterwaul in front of a crowd of people like I did tonight. Normally, I’d rather sit smack dab in the middle of a cow pie than to sing off-key in front of an audience. But I think it’s important to get over ourselves and have a little fun sometimes. I can’t carry a tune, but I hope my performance helps some of you step out and do something silly now and then.”
“Thank you, Lisa. That’s a great perspective.
“Audience, please fill in your ballots and pass them to the ushers. While we’re waiting for the votes to be cast and counted, we have last year’s winner here to entertain you. You all remember Rubber Band Man, who uses various types of rubber bands to shoot spit wads at a target. Let’s welcome him back tonight.”
“The votes have been counted, and we have our winners. Tootsie Roll, please. I mean drum roll.
“The act coming in third is Gabrielle Williams, who did a chalk drawing of a nearly unrecognizable thumb. Gabrielle, please accept this box of locally made chocolate-covered bacon bits.”
“Thank you. It was my pleasure to share my no-talent with everyone tonight.”
“Placing second is Mr. Joe Banjo, who allegedly played the banjo with his toes. Joe, we hope you enjoy this nose flute. Maybe someday you’ll become a one-man band.”
“I’m pleased to make a fool of myself in front of such nice folks tonight. Thank you for your votes. And I will treasure this nose flute always.”
“And our winning act tonight is Lisa Jackson! Congratulations, Lisa! You have won the Third Annual Small Town No-Talent Contest. We present you with a Gift Certificate to the Road Kill Café and of course, this coveted crown made from bubble wands, twist ties, tin foil, and popsicle sticks. Please wear it with your head held high, so it stays on, and thank you for gracing us with your no-talent tonight.”
“I’m honored. Thank you all for being so gracious. I’ll wear this crown proudly.”
“Thank you to all of our contestants and all of you in the audience. In this contest, you never know what you might see that you wish you could unsee, but it’s been a great night. We’ll be back with more no-talent next year.”
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